Jesus never changes: The way He handled people in the gospels is the way He handles you and I today. So if we look at the gospels we'll know how He deals with us.
He doesn't change how He deals with us based on our rough childhood, or our easy childhood, nor whether we are rich or poor, male or female: Truth is truth, and no matter where we've been or who we are, He is always going to be asking us from the inside out to align our emotions and thoughts with Truth. He brings us to the opportunity to make right decisions, to feel right feelings, to see His truth in any situation.
So when we are talking about emotional hurts we first need to ask if these hurts are righteous emotional hurts, or unrighteous hurts. All hurt is not the same. Some hurts are the result of events they brought on themselves. That hurt is not justified and they need to be left to the Lord and their heart to face the consequences, and that is what He will do if they won't come to the Truth of the matter. But then again, some hurt is justified, as when a person becomes the victim of another through word or deed, and that needs to be healed by the Lord, which often involves walking out healing over time. But first to unjustified hurt.
Hurt and disappointment in people
In John 6:26 Jesus told people seeking Him 'You seek me not because of the miracles, but because you ate the loaves (of bread He had multiplied) and were filled." Ouch, that had to hurt. When He then launched into a couple of difficult to understand parables about eating His flesh and drinking His blood, many of them left - confused, hurt, and disillusioned. (John 6: 66-67)
Was their hurt justified? Their feelings of betrayal were real. Their feelings of deep disappointment in Jesus were real. Their life plans were suddenly rearranged and they went back home to pick up the pieces after following this man they thought would be the new king, but He had SO hurt them. Was their hurt justified? No. Were their feelings of hurt, disappointment, betrayal, real? Yes. Real feelings, but unjust feelings, so He expected them to adjust their feelings to Truth - He is the same today with us.
What about Mark 1:30-38 where Jesus was staying at Peter's mother in law's house, healing any who came to the door until sundown. The next morning He went outside to be alone and pray, and when they found Him Peter said; "Everyone's looking for you!" expecting Him to start healing again as He had done the previous night. But Jesus said He was going to other towns instead. HOW disappointed all the people must have been - how hurt - they had need of healing and just on a whim Jesus cancels and moves on. What if you had not made that sundown deadline the night before and you were left sick or injured? Their hurt and disappointment were real. But was their hurt justified? No. Where their feelings of disappointment, hurt, anger, real? Yes.
Here is where the rubber meets the road of growing up in Christ
Separate your feelings from the moment and ask yourself if your hurt is justified. If it is, then the Lord is with you and you can ask Him to deal with them, and He will help you work through your feelings and sense of injustice you suffered.
If you find that your feelings are not justified, if your feelings are the result of wanting something unrighteous, then He is not with you (resisting right is pride, and God resists the proud) and unless you correct yourself, you will be left to deal with your feelings until you do. If you continue to resist (as pride does) you may find yourself a spiritual island, blaming all those around you who hurt you and let you down and abandoned you (even though your feelings are unjust as you caused them to do so) - until you are ready to admit your own failings. Coming to grips with the ugliness of our own heart and remedying that condition through Christ, is called growing up in Christ.
There are dozens of examples in the gospels of Jesus disappointing people, hurting people, making them disillusioned and angry. Those feelings in others He caused are in part what sent Him to the cross. He made people angry and brought up emotions in them they didn't want to deal with. He never changes!! He is still doing that in us today!
He will still provoke us from the inside out with the choice of right decisions and emotions, or wrong decisions and emotions. He brings us to face Truth. THAT is the point of decision, the point of heightened awareness and emotions concerning our situation and Truth. Once He has made us aware of the truth, He silences Himself to observe the workings of our hearts and minds and emotions to see what we will do.
Being hurt is a fact of life; staying hurt is a choice
The feelings are real, but living in hurt is a choice. Labeling yourself as damage, hurt, is a choice. Yes, your feelings of rejection, betrayal, hurt, anger, are all really felt, but hurt is a choice. Upon receiving the sting of a rejection, if a person switches their emotions and thoughts immediately to love the one hurting and accusing you, the sting of hurt can then be viewed from a distance which allows a determination of whether the hurt we feel is righteous hurt or not.
Jesus was disappointed his closest friends couldn't stay awake to pray with Him in the Garden. That was justified hurt. (Mark 14:37) But it didn't slow Him down a bit from what was right to do (go to the cross). That is the difference. People get hurt so they justify themselves slipping into neutral in life, stopping to celebrate and repeatedly rehearse their hurt, justify their hurt, blame others for where they are in life. They blame others, going church to church, meeting to meeting, person to person, never able to settle down and forge real and long term relationships, a spiritual island surrounded by people as they nurse their hurts.
We can't let hurt stop us from doing what is right. Choosing to do what the Word says when it is against all you feel and all your hurt, is part of growing up in Christ. When you don't seek your own, when you don't provoke or respond to provocation, when you apply love to the unlovely. You are in charge of your feelings. Don't justify them by hormones, being tired, being sick, being under a lot of stress - just be in charge of what you feel. Learn to control feelings. We are led by logic, reasoning, the Holy Spirit, but rarely are we led by human emotion alone - they are so fickle. We are to be in charge of our feelings, it is that simple. Choose to do right no matter what you feel. Always.
Jesus always brings us to the point of decision - He is always asking us questions to prove what is in our heart
He asked the 12 who they thought He was: Who had the revelation from the Father who Jesus was. He is still asking people today, 'Who do you say I am?'
When confronted with a massive crowd and no way to feed them, He turned to Philip and asked how they would feed that many people, probing to see if Philip or any of the others would think 'outside the box', in faith, expecting something extraordinary of the Lord since they had seen Him do so many miracles already. He is still asking us what we will do when faced with impossibilities before us; will we think 'outside the box' expecting Him to do the extraordinary as, or will we like Philip, shrink back to the natural realm and look for natural solutions only?
In Matthew 17:25, 21:28, 22:42, Jesus asked "What do you think?" to His hearers, and He is still asking us "What do you think?" about our situations in life. Will we answer in righteousness, or from a deep but unrighteous need to be right in all things?
In Mark 3:4 Jesus asked a question recorded also in Matthew and Luke: "Is it right to do good (on the Sabbath)?" And He is still asking us to judge if the need before us is right and proper to do, or if we should do something else. I'll close the series next week, until then, blessings,
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