Hi all,
What if you were only required to go to church 3 times per year? And what if there was no Internet, no phone, no other means of communicating than writing a letter or talking face to face with others?

That was the situation in Israel around 250 BC - roughly 250 years before Jesus' birth in Bethlehem. In the Old Testament, God didn't require a Jewish person (men) to go to the temple in Jerusalem except 3 times each year*, which was considerate as they were spread out all over the nation with no means of travel other than their feet. (*Exodus 23:17)

Here come the Greeks!
The Greeks, led by Alexander the Great, conquered Israel and Egypt from 333-331 BC. Alexander had been a student of Aristotle and became convinced that Greek culture could bring unity to the world. Greek culture brought many things to residents spread throughout the nation of Israel - dress and styles, theater, athletic games, gymnasiums and spas, the arts, Greek language and way of reasoning.

Enter 'gatherings' and the 'separated ones'
By the mid 200's BC Israel was becoming Greek. It had been over 200 years since the last prophet, Malachi, and God didn't seem to be speaking anywhere in the land.

You couldn't tell a Jew from a Greek because both went to theaters, had spa and gym days, went to sporting events - and all that was required to identify themselves as Jewish was go to the temple in Jerusalem 3 times a year. There were no weekly meetings in those days - but that was about to change.

Seeing what was happening to their nation, a holiness movement arose to separate Jews from Greeks, to educate the Jewish population about their God more than a mere 3 times per year. As the holiness movement organized they decided to have weekly neighborhood meetings where these separated families could gather and learn about God. But when to meet?

Keeping the Sabbath
God's command in Exodus 20:8-11 of keeping the Sabbath holy just said they couldn't work on Saturday. This was because God didn't work on Saturday, so they didn't work on Saturday to honor Him, and that was keeping the Sabbath holy. Because they worked the other 6 days, the Sabbath was their day off and thus became the logical time to gather in these new home meetings.

And here is the funny part
In Hebrew, the word 'separated one' is Pharisee. The Greek word 'gathering' or 'place of learning'' is synagogue. The holiness movement was led by 'separated ones' or Pharisees, and the initial home based meetings were synagogues. They determined walking more than about 1/4 mile (.4 km) on the Sabbath would be work, so they reasoned each home gathering could convene with every 10 Jewish males of adult age within that radius. Even in Jesus' time most synagogues were homes, or converted homes. Only later did they build buildings called synagogues.

Today, if believers wish to worship on Saturday that's fine, for they do it unto the Lord and I find no fault. Just don't say God said Saturday was the day to worship on for that is error and ignorance - well meaning perhaps, but wrong. The Sabbath command just said rest, and was a type and shadow of Jesus, who would gave us rest from our sins - it was made for man, not for God. (Mark 2:27)

They gathered in homes on Saturdays to learn about God that they might live God's ways and His culture in the midst of Greek culture. As holiness movements go, they added more and more rules around God's law, so that by the time of Jesus He was constantly cutting through those laws to teach the Old Testament as it was intended. (My 'Sermon on the Mount' series, 1 & 2, cover some of this)

Family life tied to revelation from God
The Lord had invented the home and family in the Garden of Eden, and met with Adam and Eve there. When He appeared to Abraham in Genesis 18:17-19 He tied revelation from heaven to the quality of family life:

"Shall I hide from Abraham that which I am about to do...for I know him, that he will train up his children and his household like him, to keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement; so that the Lord may bring upon him all that (I) have spoken to him."

Throughout the Old Testament parents are told to talk of the Lord when they rise and when they sit, when they come in and go out - the home and family has always been the place God has chosen to be the first and foremost place to learn of Him.

Temples live in homes
When God moved out of the temple in Jerusalem and into human beings on the day of Pentecost as seen in Acts 2, making human beings living temples, it was only natural these new believers would continue to meet in homes on Saturdays as they had been doing for some 250 years. It remained the focal point of learning about God. Later, resurrection day became foremost in their thinking and many started meeting on Sundays.

They didn't meet in homes because of persecution, they met because God had been meeting in homes with families since Adam and Eve. Many if not most of Jesus' miracles were in homes. And that is why house church is growing so quickly around the world, whether in persecuted lands or not - because God invented and ordained the home and family as the core place to learn of Him so that's where He naturally moves. It is the context of the NT, for the authors of the NT were house church leaders writing to and visiting with home based gatherings of the church.

The arrogance of 'the church'
The arrogance of 1700 years of the auditorium system of church is that it thinks it is the means by which God spreads His gospel! Jesus didn't send an institution to preach the gospel, people who live and meet in home gatherings send themselves - not specially trained people called missionaries, we send ourselves into homes and towns and businesses to make disciples through relationships.

Home is where life and food swirl with activity, so church in the home focuses on life.

Cross thinking or resurrection thinking?
What is the symbol of Christianity? The cross. Death. Think about what a contradiction church culture is versus what New Testament realities are. Those writers were focused on Christ who lives in us, on Jesus's resurrection, His triumph over the enemy and death, our newness of life. Christ in you the hope of glory.

Why then is our whole church culture focused on death? Why aren't there symbols of empty tombs on steeples of the churches and hanging on our walls? Why do we identify with the death of Jesus rather than on His resurrection? Why is the cross spoken of 51 weeks of the year and the resurrection the focus just 1 Sunday of the year? The whole of the NT is focused on His resurrection; why isn't church culture?

Why do we have altar calls to bring people to the cross rather than resurrection power calls? Why bring people to the cross at the close of every service, reminding them they are sinners, (they know that already so this isn't news) rather than focus them on the power of Christ inside to overcome that sin!?

Hitting home
House church is focused on the resurrection because it is all about discipleship. I sat with a young man just before a home church meeting was to start - he had only known the Institutional Church but decided to try house church that week.

His head was bowed in despair. Unable to see anything but his own repeated failures and sin, he was on the verge of suicide. He had been through countless altar calls but was no better. Through his tears he told me he repents and is fine for a time, but then goes right back into sin, as he put it; "I go to the cross over and over again, but I can't break the cycle of sin in my life."

I told him he wasn't thinking New Testament truths, that he was looking back at the cross rather than the power of the resurrection and Christ who lived in him right now. The NT says we already died and are now raised from the dead in Christ. We are seated in the heavenlies in Christ. We have authority and power over the devil. We have been blessed with all spiritual blessings in Christ. We are new creations and all is new. We are justified in Christ and have peace with God. (Romans 5:1-2, 6:3-5, Eph 1:3, 2:6, II Cor 5:17)

He was cross-thinking, I was resurrection-thinking. The good news is he did find peace and victory that day and after, all because he changed his thinking from death to Life. From cross culture to resurrection culture.

Are you trained to think Christ in you which points us to Him, or are you focused on self and how you fail the cross repeatedly?  Do you think first to Christ in you when you need answers, or do you think you need to go to church to hear x speaker or have x person 'give you a word' or do something to get God to hear you?

Are you thinking the cross or resurrection power in your life? More next week, until then, blessings,
John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]

Hi all,
"We love you Americans, we really do. But you're all a bunch of liars!"

I was shocked to hear this from the wife of one of the international Bible school students, her husband nervously standing by with a roll of his eyes that said 'Oh please be quite dear let's go' in his eyes, but her tone wasn't condemning, more like frustrated. She had baited me so I bit: "What do you mean?" 

Softly now, to make her point: "We admire the American way of life, your freedoms, you know - conquer the west, follow your dreams, be anything you want to be - we can't do that in my country. But you are all liars. You say 'I'll call you next week' or 'Let's get together for lunch' or 'I'll call you', but you never do!"

Looking for the right thing, but...
She was looking for genuine relationships in church and had no idea that just a little while later the Director of Music for a mega-church would sit in my office and express the same desire using different words; "I'm surrounded by people here at church, but I'm all alone. I don't have any real friends and no one really knows my wife and I. What do I do? Is there anyone real out there, without an agenda for using me or manipulating me? Are there any genuine friends in church?"

Both these couples, who became good friends of ours I might add, were searching for something the structure of the way church has been done the last 1700 years isn't designed to do: Promote relationships.

Why the IC (Institutional Church) is the way it is
Jethro watched his son-in-law Moses, settle disputes and answer questions from the people to the point of exhaustion. He told him in so many words that he needed to create the infrastructure for the Federal Government of Israel - the newest nation on the planet, born a few days earlier when they had walked across the temporarily dried up Red Sea.

"Set up captains over 1,000's, and 100's, and 50's, and 10's, and let them handle the small stuff so you only have to deal with the upper leaders and problems too big for the lower captains."  (Exodus 18:17-26)

Moses did that, and the Federal Government of Israel was born. In that same time frame the priesthood for temple government would be established on the same principle, with a High Priest who presided over lesser ranks of priests, down to still lower ranked priests and eventually down to boys in training to be priests. (Samuel, for example)

The church adopts Moses' Federal Government structure
Flash forward to about 300 years after Pentecost - It is the year 313 AD, and Emperor Constantine legalizes Christianity, calling believers out of their home based meetings and into former pagan temples and their pews, establishing the system of Moses for the new auditorium style meetings of 'church'. The body stopped being the church and started going to church. By necessity one gift became elevated, the pastor/priest, and 'captains' of lesser rank were established over the people. 

Thus the 5-fold, deacons (servers), helps, gifts of the Spirit, motivation gifts like exhorting and giving and organizing and all the other graces, were pulled out of the context of scripture which was the home, and made it fit into the auditorium - and it has been that way for 1700 years. That's why there are so many books on this program or that, because God designed home based meetings but man lifted it out of the home and put it in an auditorium. Man has been trying to fit that square peg in the round hole ever since.

What changed at Pentecost, and how church was for 300 years
In Exodus 19 God came out of eternity and down to the mountain to talk to Moses, then moved into the newly constructed Ark of the Covenant, residing between the cherubs to commune with Moses there. Some 400 years later David still knew Him as 'the God who lives between the cherubs'. He then moved from the tent of David into Solomon's temple with such glory the priests lost their strength as the bright cloud of His presence filled the temple. (Exodus 25:21-22, 33:1-11, II Samuel 6:2, II Chronicles 5:7-14; 7:1-3)

From that point on God lived in the Holy of Holies in the temple in Jerusalem - that's all Israel and the world knew for 1,000 years. That is 1,000 years of knowing if you wanted to meet with God, you had to go to the temple in Jerusalem, and you couldn't meet Him directly, it had to be through one of His priests, the chosen few who were in ministry to God. The rest had 'secular' jobs.

That all changed on Pentecost, for that same God who came out of eternity to meet Moses on the mountain, Who came off the mountain to live in the tabernacle's Holy of Holies, who still lived between the cherubs 400 years later in David's time, who moved with glory and fire into Solomon's temple when they brought the Ark of the Covenant and His manifest presence into that building - on Pentecost He moved into human beings! Human beings became living temples of God!

Paul's revelation
Paul 'got it' that we are now the temples of God and wrote continually about the realities of that fact, but nowhere is he more to the point that Colossians 1:25-27:

"...God is revealing the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is; Christ in you! - the hope of glory." 

Christ in us! When people became living temples of God, it made the temple building irrelevant, not needed, an archaic expression of a previous time. God had revealed a mystery - He couldn't move into people who were sinners, so He had to recreate their spirit by His Spirit, then He could move inside them and they could be walking, talking, portable temples for Him, taking Him and the knowledge of Him and His ways over the face and breadth of the earth!

The consequences of Christ in you
This is a major consequence of Christ in you: You can stop doing things to impress or move Him; you can now start walking with Him.

Christ in you means no formulas are needed. He lives in you so you don't need to shout - He is not hard of hearing. You don't need to pray for an open heaven, Christ is in you. You don't need to put a specially anointed square of cloth under your pillow for 7 nights straight and then send it and your best offering to brother so and so he can pray for you.

You don't need to drop $100 on the platform of x speaker to get God to answer your prayer or give you that breakthrough you need. You don't need to be afraid of the devil - not only is Christ in you, you've received both the authority to use His name and also the power of the Spirit as well - just command demons to flee, and they do.

It means there are no special days of the week to worship on, for Christ is in us 24/7, so every day is worship day. It means I can give freely to those in need, to leaders, to help others according to how Christ in me and my heart are directed.

It means there is no such thing as sacred and secular because Christ in me makes all I do and all I am, sacred. From my job to my home to my computer - I take Christ with me to work, to play, 24 hours a day, so all is sacred. We all have sacred jobs. We are all in ministry because Christ is in us.

The other side of the coin
It also means I am personally and instantly accountable to Him who resides in me. It means I have part of His personality in me, and every other brother and sister in the Lord have part of His personality in them, therefore being in relationship with other living temples becomes my #1 priority in how I worship. I am so eager to see what He is doing in others, to see Him in them, I love to be around them in real life, through the ups and downs, the defeats and victories.

It means we are all equal, the apostle and giver of a cup of water to a child, for we are all saved by the same blood - the only difference is our function in life and the body of Christ. Christ in me means I am free to be myself as I continually grow in Him, taking every challenge in life and relationship to ask, 'How can I grow more in Him through this?'

It means - I can swim in the open ocean, no more tied down to an aquarium, but schooled together with other 'fish' of the same kind, for Paul said there is neither Jew nor Greek, bond nor free, we are all one in Christ.

Righteousness comes through faith in Christ, but it is unproven - anyone can say they are a Christian. God has designed that the proof of our righteousness be manifest in relationships, and those start in the home just like it did with Adam, Eve, and the Lord in the garden - where 2 or more are gathered, He is in their midst - why? Because He lives in them both!

And that raises the question for next week in a new series...until then!

Blessings,
John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email to [email protected]

Hi all,
"Abnormal Christianity! All around me, everything I see, is abnormal Christianity."

I longed for the amazing experiences with the Lord people had through the 30 years covered in the book of Acts, but didn't see any of that in my 'aquarium' of the faith. To me it was clear Acts is more than history, it details 30 years of normal Christianity.

Yet all around me all I saw was the goofy or the dry as toast boring. No where did I see 'real' people, mature in character and life, balanced in their walk, knowing how to walk in the Spirit - Christians as depicted in Acts and mentioned in Paul's letters.

The arguments
The mind tries to find ways to justify why Christianity today doesn't resemble that seen in Acts:

That was only for the first century to get the story of Jesus started - But I thought; Aren't we in need of as dramatic a gospel now as then, with so many more millions upon millions of people on the earth? And if God is Judge of all, isn't He willing to provide evidence of the truth of Jesus now as He did then?

Now people have the written Word, so we don't need signs and wonders. But the Lord had to see down through time to our day, yet He still said, 'Those who believe in my name will lay hands on the sick, cast out demons...." (Note, that is not, 'Those who believe, in my name will lay hands...' but rather 'Those who believe in my name will lay hands on...' This understanding is consistent with Acts 3:16 where Peter said it was through his faith in the name of Jesus the lame man was healed)

One by one
Arguments rose in my mind, and one by one the Word had an answer. And then I read Acts 1:1, which ended all arguments, all efforts at justifying the abnormality around me, case closed, period, paragraph, over and out: "In my earlier book Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and teach."

A flood of revelation raced through me. Luke had written the gospel of Luke to a Roman named Theophilus, as seen in Luke 1:1-4, "Dear Theophilus...I have therefore decided...to set the life of Jesus down for you myself in proper order..." (Note: Luke is the only author of a gospel to state he is writing in chronological order the life of Jesus, and Acts continues his chronological order of events.)

The gospel of Luke is the first part of a 2 part work walking the reader through the life of Jesus in chronological order, Acts is part 2 of that volume. Luke's gospel ends with Jesus ascending to heaven, not to be seen physically until His return (Though He has been seen by many through the centuries in the Spirit).

Yet he opens Acts saying this: "I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and teach." The gospel of Luke was just what Jesus began to do and teach, meaning Acts is the continuation of all He BEGAN.

Through the centuries the abnormal became normal, sadly
"Abnormal Christianity. All around me, everything I see, is abnormal Christianity. Acts is normal. Acts is the continuation of what Jesus began to do and teach. There is an unbroken string from the gospel ministry of Jesus, to the spiritual ministry of Jesus in Acts, to my life today - and the disciples continued all the signs and wonders Jesus began to do, and taught what He taught - Jesus is still continuing to do what He began to do and teach even to my day. I am part of an unbroken string through 2,000 years of all that Jesus began to do and teach."

That was what I said to myself when I realized Acts was the continuation of what was begun...and nothing around me resembled that continuation of what Jesus began to do and teach. Acts is normal Christianity. I longed for that! I wanted to be part of the continuation of what Jesus began to do and teach!

I couldn't do that in any aquarium because every aquarium of the faith had deviated from Acts. I had to swim in the open ocean of the Spirit just as the apostles did, to continue the ministry of the Lord as they did. I was finally willing to let my reasoning's, my emotions, my Bible education, all I thought was 'right' in my understanding of the Word, actually submit to the Word in context as it was intended.  

If I was to be a part of what He began, I needed to rearrange my thinking, realizing the apostles were just walking out what Jesus began, so I needed to do what they did so I could know Him like they did, and see the signs and wonders like they did. And possibly turn my world upside down in Christ like they did.

How they did 'church'
So when the argument arose trying to explain away why they met in homes for the first 300 years after Pentecost as being due to persecution, it melted away. Meeting in homes is a continuation of all that Jesus began to do and teach.

Many if not most of His miracles and bringing people to Him were done in homes - From water into wine, to 2 blind men healed as he ate, to healing meetings at the door of Peter's mother in law's house, to dinner in the home of Simon the Leper, to calling height-challenged Zacchaeus down from the tree to have dinner in his home - the gospel story was shared in and around homes. But it is deeper than that, the first house church was Adam, Eve, and the Lord in the garden, for where 2 or more are gathered, He is in their midst, and throughout the Old Testament God makes it clear the home is the centerpiece of learning of Him.

Then I looked around the world and saw house churches popping up in every nation whether Christians were persecuted or not, so that argument fell by the way side quickly. God is moving in the relationships found in family and homes.

Written to whom?
Then I saw to whom the original letters were written, as detailed in Acts and the end of some of Paul's letters: Priscilla & Aquila in Rome and then Ephesus, Justus in Corinth, Jason in Thessalonica, Lydia in Philippi, Philemon in Colossae, and a woman name Nymphas in Laodecia - all mentioned as hosting church meetings in their homes. Our New Testament consists of letters initially sent to churches who met in these people's homes. (Acts 16:15, 40; 17:5; 18:7; 20:20; Rom 16: 3-5; I Cor 16:8, 19; Col 4:15; Philemon v1-2)

Out of context

Suddenly I had the kind of horrible revelation one only receives when they realize the key foundation their whole life was built upon was all wrong, all their assumptions wrong, and all they had believed about someone was skewed in the wrong direction. All my life I had applied the New Testament to the auditorium setting when in fact the whole of the New Testament was written by apostles doing house church, to people doing house church, and applied in their lives in home based meetings.

The place for the celebrated '5-fold' is in the home. The place for the gifts of the Spirit is in the home. The place for the Lord's Supper is in the home - all I held near and dear to my heart I had been lifting out of context and applied to an auditorium setting - completely different than intended! All efforts of mental gymnastics to justify why I did church in the auditorium, to prove why I could do church differently than the continuation of the ministry of Jesus as seen in Acts, ended. Instead of trying to justify myself, I repented.

I was totally dejected, horrified and loathing myself, completely repenting, apologizing to the Lord over and over for twisting what He had begun to do and teach into a form of my own design. Suddenly I saw it - all those aquariums of the faith were truly man-made, while the family and home was God-made; He built the garden of Eden and the first family, He did not make the auditoriums we've had the last 1,700 years.

Meeting in homes was God's design,
He made the home and ministered in homes, that's why it is a continuation of all Jesus began to do and teach! The horror of 25 years of my life teaching my Lord's words out of context hit me hard - and I also did disservice to Paul and Peter and John, James and Jude as I even asked the Lord to apologize to them - I was so horrified at myself!

I have had my own words lifted out of context and used by others in a way not intended by me, often to attack me. One of the enemy's greatest tools is lifting quotes or reading into another's words to stir up strife - even testimony against the Lord at His trial was witnesses who lifted out of context and twisted His words to be used against Him. I had done a very similar thing by teaching the Word in the auditorium context! He is SO merciful to have received me, anointed His Word as I taught, even though the application of said Word was intended to be in the close relationships seen in home-based churches.  

I realize God is big enough to fill any structure man gives Him so I find no fault in others worshipping in the auditorium, but I can only speak through the grace given to me, and for me, 25 years of carefully constructed faith had to be rearranged. I would only be satisfied being part of the continuation of Jesus' ministry as He started and the apostles continued it - I had to be part of that open ocean of the faith.

Next week; picking up and reassembling the pieces. Blessings,
John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email at [email protected]

Hi all,
She had asked for prayer because of an all-day headache. Several of us had gathered at a home for a meal, but after dinner and just before we all headed our separate ways, she stopped us and apologized as she asked for prayer. It was about to become the moment I realized I wasn't part of any 'aquarium' of faith.

Powerless disciples
There were 5 people who immediately circled and laid hands on her while I held back, listening for the wisdom of the Lord to see what He wanted to do and if healing was the direction to go. Some of the questions I was asking Him included was it dehydration and/or altitude, as we were in mountainous Colorado Springs, Colorado and she was from a much lower elevation. That would mean prayer wasn't required, water and sleep was. Was it from being tired or stressed, as it was a busy weekend and there were family issues back home. So I waited before Him as they immediately launched an all out spiritual assault worthy of soldiers taking Omaha Beach on D-Day.

One lady took the lead and in a 'let's cover everything' sort of prayer, beginning with pleading the blood of Jesus and drawing a 'blood line in the sand'. Then she said she was storming the gates of heaven, then commanding the devil to go to the bottom of the Grand Canyon (pity the poor campers and hikers down there), then asked the Lord to have mercy on her, then commanded angels to come and minister to her, and other commands and pleadings that sounded very spiritual, done with great passion and flourish.

Mercy me!
Then the others prayed, asking the Father to heal her, bless her family and bring them to Him, commanded the devil off her kids and husband and their business. This is what I would call a 'stew prayer' - throw everything in the pot, hope it works out, and everyone goes home with full spiritual tummies and feeling like they had kicked devil butt.

At some point someone asked how she was, and she reluctantly admitted her head still hurt. I said, let me lay hands on you, which I did saying this: "I command you to be healed in the name of Jesus. Pain leave." With amazement in her eyes she said, "It's gone! It's gone! Just like that!"

No aquarium to call home
That was the moment I realized I was not from any aquarium of the faith these people were swimming in. I was from the open ocean of believing God's Word and obeying it. That's not arrogance, it is a diagnosis. Though they loved God, their faith was in what they had been taught by popular culture and the teachers elevated by that culture, which wasn't the Word. Jesus is very clear - command healing - Jesus never prayed for the Father to heal someone (nor did the apostles), He commanded, and we are to do what He did.

I thought to myself, can you imagine Peter and John saying to the man in Acts 3, "Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have I give to you, in the name of Jesus, of Father please touch him, we plead the blood, get away from him devil, angels I command you to come now and minister to this man, we break the curse of the generations off this man, oh if only someone could go to the third heaven, mercy drops on him oh Lord, rise up and walk." Can you imagine that?

Make it simple
Later when asked how that man was healed, in Acts 3:16 Peter responded simply: "Through faith in the name of Jesus this man stands before you whole." Resist the urge to talk more - just speak the name and let it rest, and watch Him work. Otherwise you reveal by your many words how little you believe.

(By the way, this verse destroys the theology of cessationist's who believe healing/miracles have passed. For healing to have been only for then, so would faith in the name of Jesus have to be for 1st century only.)

But you have to know Him, and know the will of the Father for a given situation before you can have that kind of faith to speak that amazing name just 1 time and see results. Modern aquariums hit all over the target but never hit the bulls eye - teaching what inquiring minds want to know but are of little importance, they don't teach the power of the name of Jesus and knowing Him well enough to be entrusted to use it appropriately.

Side track: A brief history lesson
During a visitation with the Lord I asked Him how the body of Christ in America had gotten to the place it is, caught up in formulas and the inconsequential rather than the simplicity of the gospel, and He said this:

"I raised up what you call the Word of Faith in the 1980's to bring the integrity of My Word to those who came out of the charismatic renewal of the 1970's. But soon the enemy took advantage of lust in many hearts and perverted my Word to focus on money, thus undermining the spread of the knowledge of the integrity of my Word in my body. What you see today is the result of successive generations who never had a foundation in my Word, so they chase after distractions and another gospel and another spirit. They think they are wise and mature and on the cutting edge, but are foolish because they have given themselves to these things...But I have used these things to reveal the foolishness of their hearts that I might separate for Myself true disciples who want to move into maturity in Me..."

Feelings or Word?
When I was a teenager I remember telling the Father I felt like He didn't want my life because my dad rejected me, I didn't really like myself, and I struggled with feelings of rejection and despondency.

But I remember reading Ephesians that told me I was sealed with the Holy Spirit when I believed, that I had been blessed with all spiritual blessings, that I was seated in the heavenlies with Christ, and that I was created in Him for good things. (1:3, 11; 2:6, 10)

I remember the day clearly, standing in my bedroom with that old 'Snoopy and Charlie Brown' bedspread on my bed, that same bedspread I'd had since I was 10 but mom was too poor to buy me one more appropriate for a 17 year old, saying half to myself and half to the Father: "My feelings tell me I'm not saved, not wanted by you, and I have no plan or purpose in life, but I believe your Word that I am sealed with the Holy Spirit, seated in the heavenlies with you Lord Jesus, and created to good works. I choose to believe you Father instead of how I feel."

So it gets down to believing God's Word or believing feelings and memories. That moment changed my life - I decided to believe the Word no matter how I felt or what I saw. From that point on I realized my feelings and emotions could be made subject to what the Word said. I admit I was so zealous and ignorant about real life that I told my mom that with faith we would never have any problems. After a rather incredulous look from her she simply said, "You just haven't lived long enough son. Wait until you have to pay the bills."

I often get email or instant messages or have conversations with people who are convinced they have committed the unpardonable sin. The unpardonable sin, that of rejecting the Holy Spirit, is at its core the act of rejecting Jesus as Lord. Jesus died for others, not Himself, so the one sin not paid for on the cross is rejecting Him. And because the Holy Spirit is the Agent of salvation, to reject Jesus is to blaspheme (reject, speak against, reject the ministry of) the Holy Spirit.

When I walk a believer through the Word showing them they haven't committed the unpardonable sin, nearly always they respond they are convinced He left them because they cannot feel Him anymore. These are people who believe in the Lord, love Him, but are convinced God is mad at them and has rejected them because they did some sin like speaking against a preacher, or in a fit of temper told the Lord if this is what it means to serve Him, they don't want Him, or other temper tantrum typical of a baby Christian. (And don't think the time a person has known the Lord means they aren't a baby. Paul indicated Christians who are unstable, chase after strange teachings, or are in strife, divisions or envy are babies in the faith.)

Aquarium free
The core truth of believing God's Word above my emotions kept me out of all the aquariums that were focused on formulas and ritual. I wasn't territorial so I didn't fit in the church system - but the Word said not to be territorial. I wasn't political nor a 'yes man', so I told the truth though I offended people sometimes, but that was what the Word said.

I got a call from my boss, a senior pastor, on the Monday after a Super Bowl Sunday, threatening to fire me because I was not in the Sunday night service, assuming I had stayed home to watch the ball game. I told him I had represented him 6 of the last 8 nights at various functions, and my handicapped son needed me and my wife needed relief. Yet he still threatened to fire me. I replied, 'Whether you do or not that is your business, but the Word says to put my family first and my wife and sons are my priority, and that's not going to change, for what I did was right." I kept my job, but laid it on the line because I lived the Word.

If someone taught something and my spirit didn't feel right about it, I went to the Word and checked it out. If an emotion rose up contrary to the Word, I changed the emotion, worked through it, and changed my thinking that had led to the wrong emotion, correcting myself; 'That's not right, the Word says this...'

I learned if my spirit resonated with a teaching it was because the Spirit of Truth within me bore witness to my spirit about it, but if my spirit was grieved or felt wrong about a teaching it was because the Spirit of Truth within was bearing witness to the truth that the teaching was in error. So by the witness of the Spirit and the Word I learned to trust that within as a greater authority than the most famous teacher, no matter how elevated they were in people's esteem.

And that's the core reason I didn't fit in anyone's aquarium. My allegiance was to the Word and written Word, not a system, man, or formula. Then Jesus appeared to me in February of 2001 saying this:

"See what I see. People running to and fro to this meeting and that, looking for the spectacular, thinking THAT is supernatural. While they miss the supernatural work in their midst, even in their heart, for the process of discipleship IS supernatural...as it was in the beginning so it must be now; I am moving in relationships."

Finding myself without an aquarium in which to swim, I began examining how we do church today with the way Paul did church, and I learned there is little in common between the two.

If I made my thoughts and emotions submit to the Word and Spirit in daily life, was I ready to change my thoughts about what the Word said how church was to be done? How did Paul do church?

That's next week, blessings,
John Fenn
www.cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]

Hi all,
The Lord has graced Barb and I by timing our lives to just brush against or lightly be involved with numerous ministries just before they got off-balance or fell apart completely. To stay with my aquarium analogy, we've swum in many aquariums but moved to other aquariums just before the water started to stink.

Taking the best away
We were with and then gone from the PTL Club in Charlotte a few years before financial and moral failures caused its collapse. We were at and gone from Rhema a few years before others caused it to become name-it-claim-it and the prosperity gospel. I worked with and was gone from Global Harvest and New Life Church before various doctrinal error and moral failures occurred.

All this experience I post on our web site, and some believers when reading my ministry experience automatically label me or assume they know what I am all about, or refuse to read or listen to me because of these preconceived ideas. Sometimes I feel like asking them how they'd like me judging them based on whatever job they held in 1980, but I realize they are wounded and immature and just laying someone else's sins at my feet.

But the fact is, Barb and I were grounded in the faith in home based 'prayer meetings' when we were teenagers, and no matter what 'aquarium' of the faith we landed in next, we always longed for the open ocean experiences of swimming in the Spirit those home meetings provided. We knew we didn't fit into any 'aquarium of faith' we experienced, we just hadn't realized why - yet.

Plastic or real?
If you're a fish used to swimming in the open ocean, how do you describe those wonders to a fish who has only known an aquarium?

To a fish who has only known a plastic coral reef, how do you describe the real one? An ocean going fish has seen animals an aquarium hasn't ever seen, like an octopus for instance. How do you describe an 8 armed boneless animal that shoots black ink when scared, to a fish who has never seen one?

You would use words they were familiar with - eight, arms, black, ink - but those familiar words describe something they've never seen nor experienced, so the image in the mind formed is very different than the animal you are trying to describe.

The mind tries to wrap itself around the words but cannot for there is nothing to compare it to in their life experience. 

That's what I'm saying
When we would land in yet another aquarium and talk to leaders about the 'open ocean' freedoms of the Spirit we had experienced as teenagers and that we longed for in their aquarium - they didn't understand us.

We tried to describe what we were looking for using familiar words and phrases - letting God set the agenda, worship as long as we wanted, accountability through the strengths of relationships, leadership giving away their leadership to empower people - but they looked at us like we were from another planet. We were at an impasse because we used the same words, but I was describing the ocean and they were describing their aquarium.

So about that ocean...
Everyone I talked to only knew the temple and temple terminology and had only heard scary things about the open ocean. Things like cult, and danger, and off-balance, and accountability with a huge question mark.

They spoke of people swimming in the open ocean of house church in early days because of persecution, with one sweeping statement providing themselves an excuse to ignore the fact the New Testament was written by apostles doing house church to disciples doing house church, and that Word they claim is the final authority in their lives they've understood completely out of context all their born-again life!

Square peg, round hole
And so through the years I've always felt disconnected. I was keenly aware of Christ in me, so I couldn't yell and scream to bring Him down or get His attention with that crowd. I knew the blood of Jesus was once poured out as a ransom for many and that was the only use of it spoken of in scripture, so I couldn't go with the drawing a blood line in the sand people. Jesus said to simply command demons to leave in His name, which I have done many times and had seen it work, so I couldn't relate to the crowd that went through the formulas for deliverance.

I know Christ is in me so I don't need to pray for an open heaven, so I didn't relate to that crowd. I saw in Acts they changed cities by winning people to the Lord from home based meetings, not by trying to call down demonic spirits, so I couldn't relate to that crowd.

I could read in the scripture the highest and best revelation was a person learning how to hear His voice and I was willing to pay the price to walk with Him, so I couldn't relate to the people who sought a short cut by getting a prophecy from someone - as a cure all for life's problems instead of paying the price to seek Him themselves with all their heart until they got their answer directly from Him.

I read I was not to love this world nor the things in it, so I couldn't relate to people believing God just for more things. I read how the apostles did not manipulate people for their money nor live above the people they ministered to, so I couldn't relate to those who thought God's stamp of approval is to live like royalty.

So I've been a fish from the open ocean placed in aquariums all my life. No wonder I never fit in.

Trying yet again to describe an octopus
So it was I told a Bible school leader he should not be teaching his students to yell and scream out to God at the top of their lungs each chapel service, but rather focus on Christ Who already lives in them, and teach them to hear and walk with Him - but he thought I was talking about another aquarium and therefore couldn't understand me. 

I used words like 'Christ in us' and from Romans 5:1-5 that we have peace with God so we don't have to scream and yell to get His attention, and while he mentally agreed, he had no idea what walking with our Father and Lord in that way looked like. He had nothing to compare my words to in his life, because he had always been a formula-based Christian. His style brought in students which meant money which meant a bigger and more influential ministry, and it was in fashion to yell and scream to get God's attention.

Ruined
And so it is when someone asks about what house church does about 'the 5-fold ministries' I tell them the original context of 'the 5-fold' is in the home, and it works amazingly well in the home - humbly, in day to day walk through life manifestations of God's gifts. They haven't seen that aquarium, for in their aquarium the 5-fold are royalty heard only rarely in the auditorium, and are elevated almost like a rock star.

When they ask about accountability and I describe accountability in house church is through the strength of relationships, and that Jesus' teaching is our guide - if you know your brother has something against you (or you him), go to him and heal the relationship. They can't relate because in their aquarium accountability is measured by attendance, giving, and volunteerism.

They have never seen an aquarium like what I describe. Then if they dig a little more, they discover it isn't an aquarium after all; it is the open ocean they've longed for all their lives, but have been afraid to enter for fear of hurt, deception, and eternal failure or damnation.

I use the same words they know - gifts of the Spirit, leading, revelation, teaching, discussion, community, extended family of faith, being intentional in your relationships - but they have never heard those words used in that way before, so they have no idea what I'm talking about.

You can only read about house church so much, you can only hear about the open ocean so much, but your mind won't be able to wrap itself around it. You have to experience it and THEN all the puzzle pieces make sense. It isn't so much what's taught, it's what's caught.

More next week...blessings,
John Fenn

Remember to use [email protected] for email to me