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His will or mine, does He care? #4

2/28/2015

Hi all,
When I was in my senior year of high school, my mom very strongly and continually urged me to break up with Barb because I'd soon be going off to college and meet hundreds of girls during my college years. "There are many fish in the sea; how do you know SHE is THE one for you?"

I broke her heart

That sounded wise, so I broke Barb's heart and told her we needed to end it. I knew I was inflicting deep pain as we'd said 'I love you' and meant it, but mom wouldn't let go of her advice...I was 17.

Over the next 24 hours I thought it through and even prayed a bit, but heaven was silent. The Father nor the Lord were saying anything, which was frustrating, but I knew it was my decision to make, not His. I knew it was my choice and would either suffer the consequences or reap the benefits of choosing the right mate.

Weighing it out

On the one hand was mom's 'more fish in the sea' argument. On the other hand I knew Barb very well - all she had been through as a child, all her dreams and aspirations, and that she would be a devoted and faithful wife and mother. She knew me as well, all I'd been through and that I would be a devoted, hard working and faithful husband and father. We knew we could build a life together.

To start over I realized I'd have to find a girl who loved the Father God as I did, which narrowed the field considerably. Then I thought of working through the soul issues - what we wanted in life, what we liked and didn't like. Barb and I clicked in that we both loved God, love nature, how we saw future family life, and we were opposites in several areas which had helped grow us as people and in the Lord - we had learned how to argue, how to yell at each other and then let it go, and knew our strengths and weaknesses.

I suddenly realized I'd be comparing every other girl I'd ever meet to Barb, and realized all I wanted was right there in her. I realized no matter who I met in the future, she might be Barb's equal in terms of the heart, but she would never be better than her. With that I drove to Barb's house, apologized, we both cried, reaffirmed our love for each other, and have been together ever since.

Marriage - The Lord doesn't run a dating service

I continue to share how the Lord delegated to us that we determine some things, and the subject today is how we will 'be fruitful and multiply'. Some cultures have arranged marriages, set up by the parents almost from birth. Some require a couple to gain approval from village elders. In the book of Ruth, she proposes to Boaz by putting his skirt over her*, which is what the groom does to the bride in the Jewish wedding ceremony, indicating she is now under his covering. Ruth (and Naomi) were bold women! *(Ruth 3:4-11)

(I can't help but share a little trivia in case you're unaware. Why was Boaz willing to take a Moabite wife? It was because Boaz's mother was a Moabite - and you'll recognize her name: Rahab, the former harlot from Jericho who helped the spies. Matthew 1:5 says she settled in Israel (taking their God as her own as Ruth did), and she married Salmon. They had a son, Boaz, who married Ruth. The story is also important because Ruth 3:21-22/Matthew 1:5 tells us Ruth/Boaz had Obed, who had a son named Jesse, who had a son named David. That makes Ruth David's grandma, and Rahab was David's great-grandmother.)

Is there 'the one'

I've had many Bible school students, teenagers in youth groups, and people online ask me if I thought God had just 1 person He wants them to marry, and if they miss that one chance are they doomed to never marry or out of His will if they marry someone else? I tell them no, finding a mate is our job, not God's. And at one season of life you might fall in love with one person, but at another season of life it would be another person.

Can He help? Yes. Can He provide wisdom and insight about that other person and about ourselves to help us make wise decisions? Yes. If you involve Him in the decision making might He even bear witness in your spirit or otherwise indicate to you who a right person might be for you? Yes.

Your spirit can be attracted to someone

Back when Barb and I were teenagers I had a friend in our 'prayer & praise' group come to me about a girl in our group he was attracted to. He said while she was pretty, deeper down inside him he felt an attraction to her. That same day and unknown to me, Barb had that same girl come to her about that exact guy. She said he was nice looking and all, but it was down inside that she felt drawn to him.

Separately we told each it was their spirit, and their spirit was recognizing something in that person they were attracted to, and advised each to follow through and get to know one another and see what happens. They did and they are still married to this day!

Your spirit bears witness with or is attracted to...

What happens in those cases is that a person's spirit likes or is attracted to another person's spirit because of a similar personality, call in life, or gifts of the heart. It is the same thing that happened one day when a Bible school student came to my office in tears, asking why she got so emotional listening to the missionary speak in chapel that day. I asked what she was called to and she replied 'missions'. I told her that her spirit recognized the call and Spirit on the missionary, and bore witness, and that is why she was so overcome - they had the same call.

But being attracted to or even loving a person's spirit doesn't mean you are to be married. It might happen if all other things are right - but many affairs and broken hearts have happened because one person recognizes an attraction in their spirit to another person's spirit and mistakes that for God. All that happened is their spirit is attracted to another person's spirit.

What happens is a person will love another's spirit, and often their potential they see in their spirit, and compromise in the soul, body, and natural life areas, thinking God will make it all better. And I've seen situations where single or married men/women become attracted to a another married man/woman in their spirit, then rationalize they got married for the wrong reason (lust is the most commonly blamed reason) so they have an affair which destroys at least 1 and maybe 2 marriages - all because they didn't know their spirit could bear witness with another's spirit but that wasn't God's will to commit adultery.

Your spirit will bear witness with a person of similar personality, call, gifts, or on the same spiritual page, but that doesn't mean God is saying they are your mate. Love the person's spirit, but keep the relationships within the boundaries the Lord intends mature people of character in Him to do.

"I think attraction is too often mistaken for rightness." From the movie Runaway Bride

Within the framework of all that is ethical, moral, legal and right, God can lead a man and woman into a relationship if they are attracted in their spirit to one another, but issues of the soul, body, and natural life like job and family are involved. Often with people in their 30's or later, they want a potential mate to fit into their carefully constructed life as well as fitting all the qualifications of a 20 point 'spouse' list.

But finding a mate means a person must be willing to lay down their life for that of another, which may mean the life you now have is going to be totally rearranged if not de-constructed only to be re-made with elements from their life. But because that is unknown many would rather continue in career or ministry as they are, rather than risk what they see as tearing down what they've worked so hard to build.

I had a couple come to my office for pre-marital counseling sessions, and at one appointment they were barely speaking to each other. As they sat in separate chairs with arms crossed exchanging cold glances at each other, the issue came out. Was it infidelity? Was it secret sin? Was it lying about how money was spent? No, it was about the right way to load the dishwasher. Would they end it over a dishwasher?

I'm out of room - next week the dishwasher story, and about money as we continue talking about His will, our will, does He care? Blessings,

John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]

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God's will, Mine, Does He care? #3

2/21/2015

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Hi all,
I continue sharing about decisions when we wait for the Lord to show us what He wants, but in fact many times He has no perfect will because He delegated the decision to us. Here are some core decisions delegated to us: Crime & punishment, what we eat, marriage.

Obviously we can ask that He become involved in revealing wisdom, but the decisions remain ours to make. Knowing when to make a decision and when to wait on Him is what this series is about. But first...

You may recall from Genesis 1:29-30 that at creation both man and animals were vegetarians, and God personally handled crimes, as seen in the cases of both Cain and Lamech. (Genesis 4:6-16, 23-24)

The big change

But all that changed after Noah's flood, for when he got out of the ark the Lord first promised never to flood the whole earth again, and then delegated 2 things to man while renewing a third as part of what is called the Covenant of Noah, in Genesis 9:1-7.

To Noah and mankind He renewed His very first act of delegation from Genesis 1:28, when He told Adam & Eve to be fruitful in life, multiply, and have dominion as good stewards over the animals and creation. He renewed this with Noah.

The 2 new things delegated were: You may eat animals for food (but I'll make it fair by making animals afraid of you), and if man sheds man's blood, man has the right to require blood of that person.

Ever since Noah got out of the ark we've had the freedom to eat any animal, the responsibility to handle crime and punishment, and the responsibility to determine how we become fruitful and multiply on the earth.

Diet

We have the freedom to eat all things, but the later Law of Moses defined for Israel animals that would be healthy to eat and animals that would not be healthy, as well as laws of sanitation (like washing your hands) and other more detailed laws that built upon the Covenant of Noah's freedom to eat meat.

Crime and punishment

Mankind has the responsibility of crime and punishment, and again the later Law of Moses detailed for Israel many specifics ranging from the death penalty to lesser crimes requiring only fines. However that doesn't mean each crime worthy of death requires the death of the guilty, for example:

Joseph could have had Mary executed for adultery, a capital crime, but was going to not press charges and just quietly divorce her instead because as it says, "He was a good man and didn't want to make a public example of her." (Matthew 1:19)

Jesus also extended mercy to the woman caught in adultery in John 8, instructing her that He forgave her that instance, but to "go and sin no more." (John 8:11)

But Jesus didn't repeal Noah's covenant that delegated to man crime & punishment: The proof being that every nation continues to set its own laws for crime and punishment, and mankind continues to eat all sorts of creatures, and continues to multiply across the face of the earth.

Be fruitful and multiply; separate and together

The Law of Moses and even the New Testament detail 'be fruitful' when Paul says for just one example, that if we don't provide for our own it is worse than being an unbeliever,* and other exhortations that we are expected to be responsible for our lives through work. Other verses about being fruitful include employees working their job as if they were working for the Lord, Christian bosses considering their employees as equals in Christ, and other such things. *(I Timothy 5:8, Colossians 4:1, Ephesians 4:28; 6:4-6)

And of course 'be fruitful' is also linked to multiplying, again showing this is our responsibility, with great freedom within that delegated authority. Jesus even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some 'eunuchs' born to be single from the womb, and some as unto the Lord have chosen to remain single. Paul was single and said for the gospel's sake he wished more were, but that each person has their own grace from God on the matter. But he did say to not be unequally yoked on purpose, and gave advice for those already married when they came to Christ and find themselves in an unequally yoked marriage. (I Corinthians 7:7; II Corinthians 6:14, I Corinthians 7: 12-16)

Freedom for us to decide

So within each item of delegated authority to mankind there is great freedom, and the Lord works within those structures man gives Him for those structures are man's to establish, with each nation offering unique foods, unique laws for crime and punishment, and unique customs for marriage. God's command to man at the start was to fill the earth, and He also is trying to fill the earth, therefore He will work within any structure man sets up to the degree that structure allows Him to function.

And various structures give Him varying degrees of freedom, like house church has one degree of freedom to go with the flow of what He wants in a meeting, while the auditorium with its never changing 4 songs, offering, message and out the door to beat First Church to the buffet, has more restrictions. But He works within each to the extent He is allowed by us to do so.

And some businesses allow Christians great freedom, others do not. Some marriages give the Lord much freedom within them, others do not. But food, crime & punishment, and marriage are our responsibility and He seeks to fill each delegated structure to the extent each structure allow Him to fill it.

When the Lord put Adam in the Garden and told him to cultivate it, He wasn't hanging over his shoulder telling Adam where HE wanted each plant to be moved - He allowed Adam to do as he pleased. And I'm convinced once Eve saw how Adam had arranged the Garden, she immediately set about rearranging it more to her liking - and the Lord wisely stayed out of it! :)

How this works in the real world

First the disclaimer - things happen in life outside of our control as we are on a flawed planet. There is no one key that answers every question about why this or that happens to people. As Barb has said, "When I get to heaven I've got a lot of questions for the Lord." Don't we all.

But in sweeping generalizations:
Diet - we can eat whatever we want, therefore we are responsible for the consequences good or bad, of what we put in the body, and each body reacts differently to various foods. Let us say someone is 4 feet tall (1.2 meter) and weighs 300 pounds (136kilos).

They may love God, but when they are in the hospital with heart/lung conditions, diabetes, and worn out knee and hip joints and call out to God for healing, He will usually lead them back the way they came to that condition in order to attain that healing. He isn't going to zap the pounds off them or heal their heart condition - He will use man's devices and technology - but they got themselves into that condition and the only way out is to lose the weight - He works within what He delegated to us. What we plant, we harvest.

Crime - If someone is guilty or innocent and in jail or prison, He isn't going to step in and override the system. He will work within the system because He delegated to mankind back at Noah to establish laws for crime & punishment. He will work within the system and through the system, which could take years to effect change for that person to get some measure of grace to that person.

Now we come to marriage...

And I've run out of room...until next week then! Blessings,
John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]

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God's will, mine, does He care? #2

2/14/2015

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Hi all,
Last week I shared that many times we are waiting for the Lord to reveal His will, but He is waiting for us to know our need, such as when He knew within Himself that Adam needed a mate, but Adam didn't know it.

There are times He doesn't really have a perfect will for us, because very often He has already delegated that choice to us, and is waiting for us to decide. When He brought all the animals by Adam to see what He would name them, He didn't have a perfect will for the names of the animals, that was Adam's job that had been delegated to Him. He went with what Adam chose: "And whatever Adam named an animal, that was the name of it." Genesis 2:19

He will often reveal wisdom and the consequences of going in each possible direction, but often it is completely up to us and His perfect will is whatever we decide. The confusion on our part is we see the options and are wanting Him to tell us which way to go, while in fact He is waiting for us to make a decision.

Example #1: "...You won't like it."

Last month I was running errands in Tulsa around lunch time and wanted to stop somewhere to eat for no more than 30 minutes, and I was hungry for Italian food. There was a restaurant called Zio's on the corner, and I was about to drive into the parking lot, but before I did so I asked, "What do you think about that Father?" Immediately I heard, "Why don't you eat somewhere else, you're not going to like it."

The reason I asked Him in the first place is because I was in the middle of a busy day and wanted to be as efficient as possible, with about a 90 minute drive home after all my errands. I didn't want to spend more than 30 minutes at lunch, so I was thinking 'Is there going to be a 20 minute wait before seated?

So when He said, "Why don't you eat somewhere else, you're not going to like it." I took it as a suggestion but nothing more. I figured how bad could it be? There was nothing 'heavy' in my spirit about my health or safety, and no grievance if I made the choice to continue with my plan which would be an indicator He did have a perfect will and I would be going against it. So I said, "Well, I haven't been there in a long time and its quick and easy so I'll go ahead if that's OK Father." There was no response, just silence, but no grievance in my spirit either - so I went in.

I ordered Mozzarella sticks, a Caesar salad, and Chicken Parmesan

I thought since I'd had nothing for breakfast and would just have a snack in the evening, I could do the unhealthy thing and have a single large meal for lunch and take what I didn't eat home for the next day, LOL.

I ate the cheese sticks and was just finishing the salad when the waitress brought the Chicken Parmesan - perfectly timed. I took a bite off the edge and it tasted like charcoal, so I ate another bite from elsewhere on the piece, and it too tasted like charcoal. At that point I flipped it over to find the whole bottom of the serving burnt black, and called the waitress over. I told her I couldn't eat it, she was appalled the cook had plated it, promised to replace it, and said she would show the manager.

I told her I didn't want another piece and was full enough and needed to get going, so they took it off the bill and I was soon on my way, paying the $9 but tipping her according to what the full price would have been, as it wasn't her fault the cook had burned and then hidden it. (Integrity requires just like when using a coupon with a meal, the godly thing is to tip according to what the price would have been, not according to the discounted bill presented, as the server worked just the same and should not be penalized.)

As I walked out I said, "Well Father, you were right, I didn't like it. But no harm, I'm pretty full anyway just with the salad and cheese sticks."

He had revealed the consequences of my action

That was a case of me knowing ahead of time 'You won't like it' but I was also very hungry, so I was willing for the sake of my available time to knowingly go to a restaurant where I knew I'd not like the meal. I weighed the ramifications of the choice, and since there was nothing in my spirit about my safety or health involved, I went there anyway. Haven't you ever been to a new restaurant taking the risk you might not like the meal?

So we see the Father often laying out the consequences of our actions, but the decision is ours.

Example #2: Paul being shown what he must suffer, Acts 20:22/21:11

Shortly after Paul met the Lord on the Damascus road, it was revealed to him what he would suffer if he chose to walk in the Lord's call. The Lord even shared that with Ananias, the disciple the Lord sent to the then Saul of Tarsus as he awaited someone to lay hands on him so he could regain his sight: "Go your way, for he must bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel. And I will show him what he must suffer for my name's sake." Acts 9:15-16

When Saul of Tarsus met Jesus of Nazareth that day, it totally rearranged the future apostle Paul's theology. And right then, in those early days, the Lord laid out for him what he could walk in - but it was his choice as persecution and suffering would be involved.

Years later Paul had decided he wanted to be in Jerusalem for Pentecost: "For Paul had decided to sail on by Ephesus rather than spend time in Asia (the state in which Ephesus was located) because he wanted to hurry so that if possible, he could be in Jerusalem for Pentecost." Acts 20:16

Notice that Paul is making these decisions. There is no vision of a man in Jerusalem saying 'Come over here and help us' as he had that led him into Greece*. This is just Paul wanting to visit Jerusalem at Pentecost.

And yet everywhere Paul goes he says this: "And now I go to Jerusalem, bound in my spirit to go there not knowing what will happen, except that everywhere I go the Spirit witnesses that arrest and troubles await me. But none of these things move me because I don't count my life dear to myself so that I might finish my ministry with joy..."* (Acts 16:9, 20: 22-23)

Paul wasn't missing God's will though it is clear Paul is the one who is making the plans to go, not God. But it was Paul's choice because he had known from his new birth what he would suffer. He knew what he was walking into, with Agabus the prophet finally providing the details: "This is what the Holy Spirit is saying; So shall the Jews arrest you (the man who owns this belt) and then turn you over to the Romans..." Acts 21:11

That is exactly what happened, and it eventually led to Paul's trial and execution in Rome. But he had been shown the consequences of his decision to become a disciple of Jesus from the start, yet chose that path.

The 'shouting God' culture

There is a church culture that practices yelling and screaming and shouting at the top of the lungs to God to either call Him down or let Him know how earnestly they want Him. As a result, they expect God to be just as loud, just as clear in His will, and they expect Him to have a 'perfect will' in all things, never considering that some decisions are ours to make, and He will agree with whatever we choose. The idea that Adam could name the animals whatever he wanted and God would go with that, is never considered in modern life. But sometimes He IS just waiting to see what we will do.

Most often the Lord doesn't shout, He reveals in whispers deep in our souls the ramifications and consequences of each path we are considering, and then will fully be present with us to the extent each decision we've made allows Him to be.

"There are those who claim it is impossible to know what we are meant to do, or meant to be. But the folks who say that tend to be living for a God who shouts, and completely miss the one who whispers." From the movie "Finding Normal"

Next week, choosing a mate, birth control, criminal justice, money matters, and more. Until then, blessings,

John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]

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God's will, mine, does He care? #1

2/7/2015

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Hi all,
Most Christians are taught God has a perfect will for every aspect of life and if we miss it we are in His permissive will. But no ever talks about the Father's "It is up to you to decide" will, and that is actually where we live most of our lives.

We don't ask the Father if it is His perfect will for us to use the toilet, unless we are far from home and utter a desperate "Find me a toilet Father before I pee my pants" prayer, LOL. But I often get emails from people wanting the Father to reveal His will for a future mate or confirm who it is, should I take one job or another, to what apartment should I move, when to retire, what to do about aging mom or dad, etc.

Very often heaven is silent on these major issues which causes us great frustration. There are time He waits for us to make decisions. There are times He waits for us to come to conclusions within ourselves. How do we know when He is waiting for us, and when are we to wait for Him to reveal His will?

Option #1 to consider - He is waiting for us to realize our need

In Genesis 2:18 the Lord had made Adam, but had not yet made Eve. He concluded within Himself: "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him." But He did not tell Adam what He had observed about that lack in his life nor what He was going to do about it - because Adam didn't yet know what he needed. Adam probably thought he knew what he needed, but he didn't.

Instead, the Lord worked circumstances around so Adam could gain knowledge and experience and figure out what he needed while the Lord WATCHED IN SILENCE: "And the Lord God had made all the animals...
and He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And Adam gave names to....all the animals but there was not found a mate fit for him." v19

Notice the Lord saw Adam's need before Adam did and even concluded He was going to make provision for him, but He remained silent, bringing all the animals male and female by Adam , and watched Adam process it all until he figured out he was missing someone in his life.

An example from my own life

When I was the pastor of a small church in southeast Colorado Barb and I still held close to our hearts the idea we would one day be missionaries to Europe, even with our oldest son with Cerebral Palsy (CP is a brain injury during labor or delivery).

But one day when Chris was 12 he had a grand mal seizure, and we later learned seizures are common with brain injuries, with onset often at puberty, and we knew we'd never live overseas as missionaries.

We also knew our time at that church was drawing to a close as spiritually, our hearts had a larger vision than the people there. Also, Chris now needed to be closer to pediatric facilities that dealt with CP, and we both wanted Jason and Brian (his younger brothers) to be in 1 Christian school for their whole school years from that point on - they were in 4th and 2nd grades at that point.

We had reached crisis time - we needed to leave that church but had no where to go. I told the Father, "Father, since we can't be overseas missionaries any longer, maybe I could teach those who can go in my stead, what do you think about that?" Immediately He said, "You will become the Director of a Bible school."

That is just like Adam: He saw the need, He saw that Chris was going to have seizures. He was growing our hearts to be bigger than reaching that little valley we lived in. But He needed me (us) to walk through all those processes before I concluded I may be able to teach others who could go.

As I searched my heart for direction He said, "Where have you always felt most fulfilled?" Here again, He was asking me to commune with my heart and my life experiences to come to some conclusions about myself. When I looked back through my then 34 years I realized no matter what I did, I was most fulfilled with the small groups, the serious ones about the Lord. Not the church of 300, but the 10 teens and maybe 10 adults who really wanted to learn and grow and were in love with the Lord.

When I told Him that suddenly a download happened in my spirit. Instantly He gave me a vivid description of a church He would bring us to, but it wasn't in Colorado. It was in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I told Him: "OH NO Father, NOT Tulsa. They have Bible school graduates working in convenience stores because there are so many Christians, they don't need any more!" Silence. I mean silence. Heaven had spoken and that was that.

I called a friend who was on staff at a large church, and described the church the Lord had described in my heart. Right away he said, "That sounds like Victory Christian Center." The rest as they say, is our history. We moved to Tulsa, I became first Associate and then Executive Director of Victory Bible Institute, their Bible school, and after leaving there and again seeking the Lord, the Lord appeared to me and told me to do house church, which is where we are today.

A little boy's lunch

In John 6:5 a multitude of about 5,000 men plus women and children, gather to hear Jesus. It is dinner time and Jesus turned to Philip and asked, "Where shall we buy bread, that these people may eat?"

That was a sincere question as Jesus presented the problem to Philip for his consideration. But the very next verse says, "He said this to prove him, for He knew what He was going to do." The word 'prove' here means 'test', but more so 'to prove', meaning to bring out the faith that He knew was in Philip's heart.

This is just like what He did with Adam - He knew He was going to make Eve, but He wanted Adam to go through the process to be able to conclude what the Lord had already concluded; he needed a mate. He wanted Adam to know himself and come to his own conclusions. He doesn't test nor tempt us with evil, but He provides opportunity to prove what He knows is in our heart.

Here the Lord knew what He was going to do, but 3 gospels say He told them 'You feed them'.* If you read the gospels, this event happened after the 12 had returned from healing and delivering people in Jesus' name, and just after Jesus (and Peter) had walked on the water and they realized exactly Who Jesus was. His request that they feed the people was to see if they had connected their authority in Him and what they had done, with Who He was and therefore what they could do. They did not. (*Matthew 10:1/14:16, Mark 6:7/:37, Luke 9:1-10/:13)

Philip immediately thought of money: "Even *200 pennyworth of bread wouldn't be enough that each of them could have even a tiny morsel." v7 (*200 pennyworth is equal to 200 days of wages) Andrew, Peter's brother, said to him, "There's a boy here with 5 barley loaves and 2 fish, but what is that among so many?"

Not a single disciple considered they had just healed incurable diseases and cast out demons with His name, nor had they considered Peter had just walked on water as had Jesus, and the wind and waves obeyed Him. When Jesus told them to feed the people, He was telling them to think outside the box and rise up and walk in their authority - but they weren't ready for that, so He made provision.

He knows what He will do, what He wants to do, but He often waits for us to know ourselves, to ponder, consider, draw conclusions - to go through a process until we cause the vague to be firmed within us. He also sometimes watches and waits to see if we will rise to the occasion in the faith He knows that is within us. The grace is that when we don't, He knew it ahead of time and has made provision anyway.

Have you ever had times when you knew the Lord was watching you? Those were times He was watching you process and go through a process to discover your own heart and draw conclusions so He could then reveal His provision.

Next week; His "I will go with what you decide" will. Until then, blessings,

John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and remember to email me at [email protected]

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