Hi all,
As studied last week, Paul felt like his life had been an 'ektroma', miscarriage, abortion, out of step with the rest of the body of Christ. That isn't an uncommon feeling, whether it be birth order among several children, or perhaps you were that 'surprise' pregnancy your mom had when she was in her 40's and you feel she didn't really want you, or perhaps you knew the Lord, fell away, and came back, feeling like you have missed God's will for the vast majority of your life.
There was a man I knew who would bring up his past in every conversation, struggling to forgive himself. He had known the Lord, walked away for a few years during which he did the usual worldly things worldly people do, then came back to the Lord.
He wasn't struggling with what his life was like before he knew the Lord, he struggled with what he had done since knowing Him. He couldn't forgive himself for walking away for a season. Finally I understood:He had more faith in his sin than in the Lord's forgiveness. Therefore he looked for passages that supported his fear. Rather than looking for passages of grace and forgiveness, he looked for anything that spoke of being judged and turned away from the Lord. He looked for reasons he would be rejected. I realized one day that he had more faith in his sin than in the Lord's saving grace and forgiveness.
When he saw that it changed everything. He made a simple change in his heart to stop arguing against God's love and forgiveness, and finally came to peace. Now his struggle was believing that grace was so amazing, so all-encompassing, so far beyond any sin he had done, was doing, or could do, that he was overwhelmed with tears.
How would we know the depths of His grace if we didn't retain the depths of our sin in our memories?
In Luke 7:36-50, and especially verses 44-50 we find Jesus having a meal with a Pharisee named Simon. A woman came and anointed Jesus' feet with ointment and wiped them with her hair, and kissed his feet.
Simon was thinking that if this man were a prophet He would know she was a sinner. Jesus, using opposites as He so often did (and does) in His teaching told Simon:You did not offer the customary water to wash my feet upon entering your home, but she has wiped my feet with her tears. You didn't provide the customary oil to freshen up upon entering your home, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. You did not greet me with the customary kiss (on the cheek) when I entered your home, but she has not stopped kissing my feet.
In verse 47 Jesus observed:She has been forgiven much, so she has loved (Me) much. But to whom little is forgiven, they love (Me) just a little. (Greek word 'oligos', puny, tiny)
Those who have been forgiven the depths of sin love the Lord proportionally. This means they also often struggle with forgiving themselves BECAUSE they know the depths of their sin. This is a good thing - for now we know grace, love, and forgiveness, and hold these two opposites in our memories. Jude wrote in v4:"Don't turn the grace of God into 'lasciviousness', or we would say it this way in modern English:Don't turn the grace of God into a license for sin. Let our memories of our past be kept close in our hearts, but His grace and love even closer. It is His grace and love that motivate us to live righteous lives.
Why does God leave us with the memories?
It does seem like a contradiction; God forgives and forgets, but leaves us with our memories in living color within us!
We can read that God forgives and forgets, but He leaves us with our memories for several reasons. One is to learn from the past so we don't go back to it. In I Corinthians 10:6 and 11, Paul says the things that happened to Israel happened as examples for us, so we won't follow their example of unbelief. We have our memories so our past can show us our errors and sin so we don't repeat them.
Most memories involve people who have hurt us or we hurt them, which helps us process our history in light of Biblical truth.
It is the fact we know both sin and grace, injury and healing, that provides us the tools to properly interpret the Father's wisdom and will in our lives. If all we knew was condemnation then we would interpret everything said or done to us with condemnation, self accusations, feelings of not good enough and that we are always lacking. That we know grace and unconditional love allows us to balance our tendencies to condemn ourselves without cause.
In I John 3:19-21 we see a truth I learned as a teen and have lived by since. "By this we know we are of the truth and our hearts will be assured before Him; If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things. If our heart doesn't condemn us we have assurance before God." Church culture is so saturated with guilt and condemnation which keep the sheep in line and coming back each week, that New Testament truth seems foreign to us, as a stranger new doctrine.
But if you maintain a sensitivity to your spirit and the Spirit of God's nature of your born again spirit, when you have sinned, you will feel that sting in your spirit. You will feel that heavy feeling, that grievance in your spirit. Your mind won't have to invent guilt, you will feel it deep in your spirit. It feels like a bruise in your spirit, and your mind notices that and determines you did wrong, you sinned. Focus on being sensitive to Him in your spirit and realize He is fully capable of letting you know when you have sinned.
You may be the only saved person in your family,
Which means the Father strategically placed you in your family to pray for them. But the responsibility of praying for them isn't upon you simply by birth, but by the memories good and bad received by being born in that particular family. You were born into that unsaved family and then the first to be born again so God your Father could have an intercessor who would bring them before Him, that He might also save them. You are special. You hold a special place in your family, and before the Father. You have the fullest knowledge of the good, bad, and ugly history of your family, and the Father uses that so you can pray for them, that He might save them at a later time.
Next week, why you have had such a rough life, from God's perspective, and more. Until then, blessings,
John Fenn
cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]
As studied last week, Paul felt like his life had been an 'ektroma', miscarriage, abortion, out of step with the rest of the body of Christ. That isn't an uncommon feeling, whether it be birth order among several children, or perhaps you were that 'surprise' pregnancy your mom had when she was in her 40's and you feel she didn't really want you, or perhaps you knew the Lord, fell away, and came back, feeling like you have missed God's will for the vast majority of your life.
There was a man I knew who would bring up his past in every conversation, struggling to forgive himself. He had known the Lord, walked away for a few years during which he did the usual worldly things worldly people do, then came back to the Lord.
He wasn't struggling with what his life was like before he knew the Lord, he struggled with what he had done since knowing Him. He couldn't forgive himself for walking away for a season. Finally I understood:He had more faith in his sin than in the Lord's forgiveness. Therefore he looked for passages that supported his fear. Rather than looking for passages of grace and forgiveness, he looked for anything that spoke of being judged and turned away from the Lord. He looked for reasons he would be rejected. I realized one day that he had more faith in his sin than in the Lord's saving grace and forgiveness.
When he saw that it changed everything. He made a simple change in his heart to stop arguing against God's love and forgiveness, and finally came to peace. Now his struggle was believing that grace was so amazing, so all-encompassing, so far beyond any sin he had done, was doing, or could do, that he was overwhelmed with tears.
How would we know the depths of His grace if we didn't retain the depths of our sin in our memories?
In Luke 7:36-50, and especially verses 44-50 we find Jesus having a meal with a Pharisee named Simon. A woman came and anointed Jesus' feet with ointment and wiped them with her hair, and kissed his feet.
Simon was thinking that if this man were a prophet He would know she was a sinner. Jesus, using opposites as He so often did (and does) in His teaching told Simon:You did not offer the customary water to wash my feet upon entering your home, but she has wiped my feet with her tears. You didn't provide the customary oil to freshen up upon entering your home, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. You did not greet me with the customary kiss (on the cheek) when I entered your home, but she has not stopped kissing my feet.
In verse 47 Jesus observed:She has been forgiven much, so she has loved (Me) much. But to whom little is forgiven, they love (Me) just a little. (Greek word 'oligos', puny, tiny)
Those who have been forgiven the depths of sin love the Lord proportionally. This means they also often struggle with forgiving themselves BECAUSE they know the depths of their sin. This is a good thing - for now we know grace, love, and forgiveness, and hold these two opposites in our memories. Jude wrote in v4:"Don't turn the grace of God into 'lasciviousness', or we would say it this way in modern English:Don't turn the grace of God into a license for sin. Let our memories of our past be kept close in our hearts, but His grace and love even closer. It is His grace and love that motivate us to live righteous lives.
Why does God leave us with the memories?
It does seem like a contradiction; God forgives and forgets, but leaves us with our memories in living color within us!
We can read that God forgives and forgets, but He leaves us with our memories for several reasons. One is to learn from the past so we don't go back to it. In I Corinthians 10:6 and 11, Paul says the things that happened to Israel happened as examples for us, so we won't follow their example of unbelief. We have our memories so our past can show us our errors and sin so we don't repeat them.
Most memories involve people who have hurt us or we hurt them, which helps us process our history in light of Biblical truth.
It is the fact we know both sin and grace, injury and healing, that provides us the tools to properly interpret the Father's wisdom and will in our lives. If all we knew was condemnation then we would interpret everything said or done to us with condemnation, self accusations, feelings of not good enough and that we are always lacking. That we know grace and unconditional love allows us to balance our tendencies to condemn ourselves without cause.
In I John 3:19-21 we see a truth I learned as a teen and have lived by since. "By this we know we are of the truth and our hearts will be assured before Him; If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things. If our heart doesn't condemn us we have assurance before God." Church culture is so saturated with guilt and condemnation which keep the sheep in line and coming back each week, that New Testament truth seems foreign to us, as a stranger new doctrine.
But if you maintain a sensitivity to your spirit and the Spirit of God's nature of your born again spirit, when you have sinned, you will feel that sting in your spirit. You will feel that heavy feeling, that grievance in your spirit. Your mind won't have to invent guilt, you will feel it deep in your spirit. It feels like a bruise in your spirit, and your mind notices that and determines you did wrong, you sinned. Focus on being sensitive to Him in your spirit and realize He is fully capable of letting you know when you have sinned.
You may be the only saved person in your family,
Which means the Father strategically placed you in your family to pray for them. But the responsibility of praying for them isn't upon you simply by birth, but by the memories good and bad received by being born in that particular family. You were born into that unsaved family and then the first to be born again so God your Father could have an intercessor who would bring them before Him, that He might also save them. You are special. You hold a special place in your family, and before the Father. You have the fullest knowledge of the good, bad, and ugly history of your family, and the Father uses that so you can pray for them, that He might save them at a later time.
Next week, why you have had such a rough life, from God's perspective, and more. Until then, blessings,
John Fenn
cwowi.org and email me at [email protected]
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